Addiction

I want a divorce, Virmani Uncle.

Why Jane? On what grounds?
Mickey is such a nice monkey,
I know him since his childhood.

Uncle! isn't addiction sufficient ground under US laws.

Mickey and addiction, why he is a teetotaler, I can vouch for him.

Not alcohol, Uncle, he is addicted to Orkut.
Whole night he is sending scraps.
Shweta, Sweta, Rashmi, Nandini, Seema, Shinjini, Richa, Ana, Priyanka,
I don't know with how many girls he is flirting these days.
He has stopped talking to me. Even I have to scrap him.

Jane beta, I can't take your case, because if I win, it will set a precedent.
Your Aunty is trying hard to divorce me on the same grounds.

Winter

It was a chilly winter morning.
I was on my daily jog.
Suddenly it started to pour.
I ran under a porch for shelter.
I was drenched, my body shivering with cold.
I saw, near the wall, some burning coal.
I started to blow them to ignite fire and get some heat.
"Those are not ember, monkey, those are ripe red fruits."
I saw Virmani mocking at me, Purple Krown perched precariously over his head.
"With hands and feet, you look like a man.
You're even tailless!
Don't you have a brain too?"
This was enough to infuriate me.
I snatched his Krown and shattered it into pieces.
"Teasing a monkey! this will teach you a lesson, Surdie"

I Told You So

I woke up with pain in my back. I saw DokSaab smiling at me. I felt for my tail. It was not there.

"What did you do with my tail?"

"I had to remove it Mickey, I told you so!"

"You told you'd do a minor surgery for the boil."

"Yes, but your tail was useless, so I removed it."

"It was symbol of my Manhood, err Monkeyhood. Jane loved me because of it. DokSaab, I told you so!"

"I will talk to Jane, don't you worry, Monkey."

As he was leaving, I saw my sexy tail, hanging from behind DokSaab's white apron. Now I realised he duped me. He had huge crush on my Jane and stole my tail to win-over her.

Love

I think I am in Love, Sweta.

Why Monkey, how do you know its love?

Sweta, since the day I have seen her, I am feeling strange.
My heart beats faster these days.
When she comes to the window, my breathing becomes difficult.
I can't sleep the whole night. She is always there in my eyes.
I keep sitting on the mango tree in front of her house,
waiting for her to appear in the balcony.
Even the juiciest berries seem tasteless to me when she is not there.
Am I in love with Jane, Sweta?

Monkey, this is not love.
You are most probably having anaemia.
Come to my clinic tomorrow, we'll take some tests.
You'll be well soon.