Saturday, April 12, 2008


The heat was intolerable.
I could hear some explosions.
The fume coming out was acrid.
I had a choking sensation.
My throat was parched.
I ran frantically searching for water.
There was no water around.
I was running downstairs when Jane stopped me.

“What’s it Mickey, you look sick”

“Give me some water to douse the fire, Jane”

“Fire… Oh God, Mickey, is our tree house on fire?”

“Its worst, Jane !
My tummy is on fire,
I shouldn’t have tried those Tundey Kebabs at DokSaab’s party.”

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


"Mickey, you can have the strength of two studs, but that will cost you a fortune."

"DokSaab, take any money, but Jane should be fully satisfied."

He gave me a box of golden capsules, five hundred bucks apiece, to be taken one hour before going to Jane. Even I was astonished with my performance. Jane told I never had that much strength before.
Soon I reached the last capsule. Curious monkey that I am I opened the capsule to see what’s inside. I tasted the white powder and immediately recognised, Glucose !!.

"You cheat", I barged into DokSaab’s chamber, shouting. "You sold me glucose capsules as power pills."

"But they worked, monkey, didn’t they."

"Yes, but.."

"See the real strength was in your mind. I just made you believe in your strength. Those capsules wouldn’t have worked had I sold them at 5 rupees."

Monday, February 11, 2008


I want a divorce, Virmani Uncle.

Why Jane? On what grounds?
Mickey is such a nice monkey,
I know him since his childhood.

Uncle! isn't addiction sufficient ground under US laws.

Mickey and addiction, why he is a teetotaler, I can vouch for him.

Not alcohol, Uncle, he is addicted to Orkut.
Whole night he is sending scraps.
Shweta, Sweta, Rashmi, Nandini, Seema, Shinjini, Richa, Ana, Priyanka,
I don't know with how many girls he is flirting these days.
He has stopped talking to me. Even I have to scrap him.

Jane beta, I can't take your case, because if I win, it will set a precedent.
Your Aunty is trying hard to divorce me on the same grounds.


It was a chilly winter morning.
I was on my daily jog.
Suddenly it started to pour.
I ran under a porch for shelter.
I was drenched, my body shivering with cold.
I saw, near the wall, some burning coal.
I started to blow them to ignite fire and get some heat.
"Those are not ember, monkey, those are ripe red fruits."
I saw Virmani mocking at me, Purple Krown perched precariously over his head.
"With hands and feet, you look like a man.
You're even tailless!
Don't you have a brain too?"

This was enough to infuriate me.
I snatched his Krown and shattered it into pieces.
"Teasing a monkey! this will teach you a lesson, Surdie"

I Told You So

I woke up with pain in my back. I saw DokSaab smiling at me. I felt for my tail. It was not there.

"What did you do with my tail?"

"I had to remove it Mickey, I told you so!"

"You told you'd do a minor surgery for the boil."

"Yes, but your tail was useless, so I removed it."

"It was symbol of my Manhood, err Monkeyhood. Jane loved me because of it. DokSaab, I told you so!"

"I will talk to Jane, don't you worry, Monkey."

As he was leaving, I saw my sexy tail, hanging from behind DokSaab's white apron. Now I realised he duped me. He had huge crush on my Jane and stole my tail to win-over her.


I think I am in Love, Sweta.

Why Monkey, how do you know its love?

Sweta, since the day I have seen her, I am feeling strange.
My heart beats faster these days.
When she comes to the window, my breathing becomes difficult.
I can't sleep the whole night. She is always there in my eyes.
I keep sitting on the mango tree in front of her house,
waiting for her to appear in the balcony.
Even the juiciest berries seem tasteless to me when she is not there.
Am I in love with Jane, Sweta?

Monkey, this is not love.
You are most probably having anaemia.
Come to my clinic tomorrow, we'll take some tests.
You'll be well soon.

Monday, December 17, 2007


Last Christmas, we decided to visit Jane's mother.

Whole day, we jumped across trees reaching my mother-in-law's home by evening.

The butler ushered us into that huge mansion.

Jane and kids went up to meet her mother.

I waited in the lavishly decorated hall.

There were expensive paintings, and sculptures all around.

Then I saw, on a side table, a basket full of fruits.

Apples, oranges, grapes and bananas, all so fresh.

I couldn't resist, hungry that I was, picked up one ripe yellow banana.

The moment I was to bite the fleshy fruit, my mother-in-law exclaimed,

"What are you doing monkey, that's not banana, that's a candle".

"Decorative candles, I know" I smiled foolishly "I was just smelling them".